Domestic Abuse

Domestic Violence/Abuse

Domestic Abuse Poetry Poster

What is domestic violence / abuse

Domestic violence or abuse is defined by the government as:

Any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are or have been intimate partners or family members, regardless of gender or sexuality.  This can encompass, but is not limited to, the following types of abuse:

  • Physical.

  • Sexual.

  • Financial.

  • Emotional.

Controlling behaviour is behaviour designed to make a person subordinate and/or dependent by isolating them from sources of support, depriving them of independence, resistance and escape and regulating their everyday behaviour.

Coercive behaviour is an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim (This definition includes so called ‘honour’ based violence, female genital mutilation (FGM) and forced marriage, and is clear that victims are not confined to one gender or ethnic group).

Domestic abuse is rarely a one-off incident and is a pattern of abusive and controlling behaviour through which the abuser seeks power over their victim. It occurs across the whole of society, regardless of age, gender, race, sexuality, disability, religion, class, or lifestyle and income.

If this is happening to you, you are not alone. 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men experience domestic abuse and violence in their lifetime. You may feel ashamed, scared, isolated, confused, and afraid not to be believed or that the abuse will get worse if you report it.

A new criminal offence was introduced on the 29th December 2015 of 'Controlling or Coercive Behaviour in an Intimate or Family Relationship' which carries a maximum sentence of 5 years imprisonment, a fine, or both. Victims of 'Controlling or Coercive Behaviour' may not always recognise themselves as such. The types of behaviour a perpetrator might demonstrate include:

  • Isolating a person from their family of friends.
  • Depriving them of their basic needs.

  • Monitoring their time.

  • Depriving them of access to support services, such as specialist support or medical services.

  • Repeatedly putting them down, such as telling them they are worthless.

  • Enforcing rules and activity which humiliate, degrade or dehumanise the victim.

  • Financial abuse which includes the controlling of finances, such as only allowing a punitive allowance.

You are not to blame! Do not suffer in silence, as there are people who can help.

Safety Planning

The most dangerous time for a person in an abusive relationship is when they are considering leaving, or have just left. Anyone thinking about this is advised to call one of the support services listed below to talk to someone who can offer help.

A safety plan is vital whether you intend to stay – or to leave:

  • Arrange where you might go if you have to leave urgently.
  • Find places where you can quickly and safely use the telephone.
  • If you have children, teach them how to dial 999 and make up a code word that you can use when you need help.
  • Carry a discreet list of telephone numbers for support services and friends.
  • Try to save money so that you have bus or taxi fares in an emergency.
  • Get an extra set of keys for the house and car and keep these in a safe place, with  money and anything else you may need should you have to leave quickly.
  • Talk to your children and let them know it is not their fault.
  • Talk to trusted friends, relatives, your doctor or nurse about how you feel.
  • Consider opening a savings account in your name.
  • Always try to take your children with you or make arrangements to leave them somewhere safe if this is not possible.
  • Make plans for pets, if you are unable to take them with you.
  • Consider visiting the Law Centre or a solicitor to discuss what options are available to you.
  • Try to do things which would get you out of the house, such as walking your dog, putting out the rubbish or going to the shops to practice how you would leave.
  • Consider leaving a bag with a trusted friend or relative containing the items you would need if you had to leave urgently. Also consider who may lend you money in an emergency.

How to get help

 If you don’t tell anyone about the abuse it is likely to continue and get worse over time. By telling someone, a friend, family member or one of the organisations listed in this, you will be able to start protecting yourself and your children.

There are many different agencies you can call depending on the help you need. If you are in immediate danger you should always call 999.

Further Support:

Island Women’s Refuge and Outreach team: 01983 825981 (24 hour helpline)

Police Public Protection: 01983 538707

National Domestic Abuse Helpline: 07930 932249 (24 hour helpline)

Broken Rainbow (for LGBT victims): 0300 999 5428

Men’s Advice Line: 08088010327

Hollie Guard App

Hollie Guard is a free app for smartphones that has been designed to protect both men and women from possible danger.

Hollie Guard turns your smartphone into an advanced personal safety device at the touch of a button. If in danger, simply shake your phone to generate an alert - your location, audio, and video evidence of the incident will automatically be sent to your emergency contact via text and email. Shake it again and it sends out a high pitched alarm and the flash starts to strobe, in order to attract maximum attention.

From the moment Hollie Guard is activated, your location is tracked and can be viewed in real time by your emergency contact. Evidence is not stored on the smartphone but on secure servers so that it can be used as future as evidence.

Hollie Guard was developed by Panic Guard Ltd for the Hollie Gazzard Trust and is named after Hollie.  The Hollie Gazzard Trust was set up after the murder of Hollie Gazzard at her salon in Gloucester in 2014 by her then boyfriend – Asher Maslin, who had actively stalked Hollie during an abusive relationship.

To download the app, please click here.

To learn more about the Hollie Gazzard Trust, please click here.

Information for Young People

The recently launched SafeDate Website provides information for young people on the issues that face them today, including domestic, consent and relationships. To access the website, please click here (this will take you to an external site).